as the final week of 2011

i cant believe its the end of 2011.. i flipped my daily calender of things to do, task to be done, meeting to attend and had a reality check when i flip to next week, and it will be 2012.

crazy as a crazy would be, 2011 was nothing less. i started with the normal feeling that this year will another year on health, then alhandulilah my prayers was answered. I wanted a breath of fresh air and here i am, Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development.

travelling hasnt settled down either this year : Jeddah, London, Berlin (syukur alhamdulilah...)

work was a transition. and like all transitions there was resistance, but hurridly (or would i say in a forceful way lalala) turned to acceptance. Im glad to meet great frends here too. (the typical of me to be instantly close with a person...hehehe)

putrajaya-KL-Putrajaya (again) in a year is such a tiredsome route. but i made it. I am glad to enjoy KL for 6 months , and here i am back in putrajaya. Another room with a panoramic view...love love love.

ive lost a relative too this year, kak ros. the soft spoken wife to cousin. she always doesnt say much when we family gather but i can tell she really wants to be apart to our family, and i really hoped she left feeling exactly tht. Allah lebih menyayangi nyer. that was in my mind the last time i saw her. Alfatihah.

ive also lost a great frend this year. Zulfaka aka ijoy. i can still remember the last lunch i had with him, the things he said, his plnas, my comments on his new look and my doa for his speedy jodoh to come by.

Little did i knw back then , his jodoh to meet Allah came first. I will forever miss him. Alfatihah.

masyaAllah.

as i close for 2011, with just plain words, all in all, syukur alhamdulilah for another great year and big Huge hopes for 2012 (please dont ask wht in specific, keep reading my blog aits?!)

to end, here are a few shortTerm achievable 2012 resolution (that i believe by february can be achieved) :

(i) to buy new smart tag (penat aag touch and go, lagi lagi dah kat putrajaya, i have to swipe 6times a day . penat dowh!

(ii) remove my implant(no, its not the cancerous implant tht them french women are all taking off

(iii)buy a coffee machine (in specific nescafe dolce gusto..dum di dum)

obviously, we r kissing 2011 goodBye (a big fat one of course..lalalala)

dusts are settling down..

teringat lirik lagu alanis morrisette

"wait till the dust settled...you live...you learn"

alhamdulilah, the dust has settled. and i am settling in to my new work..im hoping for the best. insyallah.

i was going to blog further about current work, but suddenly i thought of the question that was ask to me few days ago

"do you regret coming here?".

funny how i answered that question, probabbly different if this was ask in the earlier months i started.

"regrets? i dont think its regret i have. i think i miss thngs. I guess its the comfort that im missing. i miss knowing the matters i handle, the people i work with and the challenges that came.

probabbly i havent done the proper closure, tht this missing feeling will linger bit tad longer.

ive been invited to my majlis perpisahan KKM today.

let see about this.

New work, Old London and all in between

July 2011 just passed by pretty fast..in a nutshell i was pretty much everyWhere. and been stressed out almost everypart of my body...

first, the trip.

KL- AbuDhabi (few hours je) -London-LakeDistrict--Manchaster--AbuDhabi (few hours lg)-KL

our long awaited, shortly decided HolidayTrip to UK. It was greatFun. to be away from home, bringing home with us (if you get what i mean).

the ittinerary was relaxed and tiresome all at the same time...leaving no room for lepak doing nothing, and more of shoppin till we droppin..( " ,).

ive never forgotten london, and london hasnt changed much since the last time i was here. ive always felt i was and can be a part of London if i wanted to. and am so glad hubbs and ashraff looks as if they are willing to jump on the boat as well (should the offer arises, im just saying)

one week, one month, 100years is never enough to spend in London and i hope to be visiting again soon, and hopefully with the thirst to shop like MAD. i somehow didnt go that insane, guess i got bitten by the insect called "SAVE PLS"...aih..but all in all, Loved London to bits!

i HEART the UK. oh kampung ku...(wahh)

next, the work.

Immediately after London, i had my mindBody soul ready for the Women Summitt 2011. Annual event this Ministry im in helds. it was crazyBuzy (i still call that..haha). stayingUp late at the office, looking thru bits and details of things.

"ayah bila mama nak balik..?"

"entaahhhhhhh"


I took most things like a man, but as a women, i ended up in tears. just tears of overwhelmed tiredness i guess. on the day itself, just as the event was about to be over, i locked myself in the toilet and let it out like a little girl. Then of course after every storm comes some sunshine, and that crying scene (which i hope noOne here at the office noticed) gave me such relief, i developed this "Eff it la" attitude, which means, jst do the blardy work and if i get screwed about it, let it BE.

and now, Ramadhan has arrived. 2nd day and insyallah im passing thru day by day with calmness and readiness. im abit tired (ok exhausted) because the bibiks out for two months, so the transitions between govt Servant-bibik-mama changes within seconds or the minute i hear ashraff yells "MAMA!" at the door ....aih

suddenly i feel like qouting hotFuzz, one of my fav UK darkhumour movie . a must watch. i have no idea who the actors are tho..lalala

"ALL FOR THE GREATER GOOD ....the greater goodddddd " they echoed


"cuba telan jari la sambil tunggu mama balik "
lalalalalla

new in the mind, body and mouth

Allahummayasser Wallatuasir
(Ya Allah ya tuhanku, permudahkanlah segala urusan hambamu ini pada hari ini dan hari-hari yang mendatang)

im finally in the new place, new office.
Kementerian Pembangunan Wanita, Keluarga dan Masyarakat.
a mouthful tobe honest...im still learning to pronounce it properly (in both languages)..and lets not get me started on the Division and Unit name..lalalala

im thinking new, new and new...(altho i must admitt it is an old building..but trust me ,only the building)

ok lets gets the saying right:
Ministry of Women, Community and Family ...eh jap Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development (do we need to say Malaysia at the end?) Kementerian Pembangunan Wanita, Keluarga dan Masyarakat Malaysia (tak payah kut) Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development (thnk building blocks: individual (women)-group(family)-bigger group(community)...

lalalalalalala

moving on..

comfortable is the word, after 9years at the same Ministry.

its about the work and the people.

the comfort that i built here, and am about to leave behind, is fearing me on wht is about to lie ahead.

fear. i guess a normal thing when change comes knocking at the door,
when one is at that junction to either go ahead, or turn around and run back.
what if i cant find comfort anymore? what if i miss the comfort i found and held on for 9years here?what if i become lazy?

choice i make. i was asked to decide, and in a split second i decided. with no hesitation, i chose to leave. This is the calling, this is the time to move on. and whatever twisted feeling i have, i have made my choice. and i am leaving.

they have asked me to stay another week, after another...and im thinking, sure, why not...

my final taste of comfort....before i have to start all over again.

bismillah.

saying goodbye

After days of rumors,
the letter has finally arrived..

im leaving Putrajaya and today (8th April 2011) technically is my final day... admin is asking for an extension of 30days to clear up work, etc...but i haven't seen it yet, so i report duty (at the new Ministry) monday

its been 3 days now since the letter came, and as much as many things/reasons are pulling me to stay, a tiny voice in my heart is saying, this is it..leave..

so dengan lafaz bismilllah...

NY

cant believe the first month of the newYear 2011 has already passed and i havent even talked on NY resolutions.

bukan New York resolutions ye, New Year..

december-January was kinda packed that NY jst went by like that without much anticipation.(besides the fact 1st Jan fell on Saturday so same-o same o)

i can say that most of the 2011 resolu will probably be the same as the last year and the year before with a few detailed ones.

So since its it the eve of Chinese New Year (and hopefully, somewhere along the blood, there is some chinese blood in me), im stating those fewDetailedNY.

have a happy chinese new Year 2011 all1 may all your day be as happy-Friday-eey and fun!
(you can say i am high on something hahahaha)

the Detailed NY 2011:

(i) Recycle/Reuse : since late last year, and with the fact that now on saturdays certain shops charge or do not at all ive plasticBags, im liking the idea of bringing own shopping bags so for this year im bringing my own grocery bags everyday.




besides tht, ive also bought Starbak special tumbler, which whenever i use it, not only do i help the environment, i also get a Rm2 discount and a double shot for free..nice

(ii) going back to the olSkool : i got myself a fujiInstax camera, the type that produces its own picture once snapped. (imagine Polaroid.... so loving it!) and this is my other way to capture memories. i started with Bb ash's bday and will soon start with my 2011..insyallah

(iii) raising ashraff fareeq : this could be the toughest, i must say. and probably the most blogged about this year.. im constantly thinking things to do/to buy/ to download to ensure im raising ashraff right .
Im so into this, ive decided to make it one of my details NYreso, wish me luck.


(iv) only whats important to me : shocker ke tak? haha. these past few weeks, been heavily thinkin on wht i want, wht makes me happy. will blog more about this later, insyallah.

(v) moisturize : i do not intend to look old before my age, so this is a mustDo! ( " ,)

the road to Jeddah

alhamdulillah.
Syukur alhamdulilah.

tidak berhenti hati dan mulut ini mngucapkan syukur kepada Mu, Ya Allah.

diberi peluang ketiga untuk mengadap kaabah, untuk menadah tangan.

menadah kesyukuran,

menadah keinsafan,

membawa jua, salam dan harapan semua

dari Malaysia

di bawa jua doa agar sekiranya diizinkan Allah,
akan pulang melawat kaabah, agar datang semula
bersama keluarga tercinta

amin...